


So Cold

by leahsmindpalace



Category: MorMor - Fandom, Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Child Death, Childhood, Hypothermia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-10
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-14 00:41:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4543605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leahsmindpalace/pseuds/leahsmindpalace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We heard a whiskey bottle shatter against the wall and Mam scream, and we knew Da was home. And angry.<br/>"Let's just hide under the bed!" Richard said, voice shaking with fear.<br/>"No. Let's run. He won't remember tomorrow." I whispered frantically, taking his hand. "C'mon!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Cold

**Author's Note:**

> This is a request from my pal Suzy.  
> Enjoy. xx

Da came in angry. He was so angry that night. We were scared we were going to be beaten beyond recognition (and of course, that had happened before on previous occasion, this striking a fear in our hearts). Then we wouldn't be allowed to go to school for a long time, and I do remember time after time painfully pushing my jaw back into place or treating wounds as I stared into the bathroom mirror. "Does that hurt, Jim? Why aren't you crying, Jimmy?" Richard would ask, his eyebrows furrowed as he himself cried for his own pain and mine.  
That's why that night I didn't want to stick around.  
We heard a whiskey bottle shatter against the wall and Mam scream, and we knew Da was home. And angry.  
"Let's just hide under the bed!" Richard said, voice shaking with fear.  
"No. Let's run. He won't remember tomorrow." I whispered frantically, taking his hand. "C'mon!"  
Richard agreed but was practically being dragged behind me as I ran through the dark, into the woods. It was a cold night and we could already see our breath, our only light being the moon.  
I just ran until I couldn't hear our Ma scream and stopped when we ran out of breath.  
"I'm scared.." Richard says, whining.  
"Shut up, we'll be okay." I said, waving a hand at him. "We will. That's why we're here."  
By the time this exchange was over I had completely lost what little sense of direction I had had. I pretended to know what I was doing, but after we were out there for almost an hour and the temperatures started dropping I finally admitted it to Richard. "We're lost. I...I don't know where we are."  
"It-it's alright, Jimmy." Richard said and I think he was just content not to be home, despite his lips starting to tremble as it got colder. I didn't feel bad at first because I was just as cold, but when Richard said he couldn't feel his fingers I started to get a bit nervous (because God forbid, so said my father, that an eight year old be afraid).  
We just kept walking and walking, and we sat for a while. "I w-anna g-go home." Richard said, his voice faltering as he shivered.  
"Stop it. We'll be home soon. Just wait." I said. I just wanted to shut him up. He was only making things more stressful for me. "I-I should have brought my compass.." I said in a mumble and Richard leaned on me after that. In any other situation I would have told him to get off of me or snap at him but it was just so damn cold.  
At what I believe would be around the two hour mark it started to snow. We'd started walking again before that and when it began I glanced at Richard, who normally would be looking up at it in wonder or even sticking his tongue out to catch falling flakes, but when I looked he was just walking beside me, watching the ground move beneath him with every step he took. He'd almost looked hypnotized.  
It got later and colder as we trudged along, ducking under branch, brush and thorn.  
I spotted an evergreen tree and we crawled under. Richard started to take his coat off.  
"What are you doing?" I asked. "Put that back on!"  
"I'm not cold a-anymore." He mumbled.  
"Shut up, Richard!" I said. At this point I was scared. And Richard was just babbling, making jokes.  
He put his head in my lap when I leaned my back against the tree.  
"I'm sorry I got us lost, Richard." I finally said, letting up on my pride.  
"It-it's o-okay, Jimmy. I'm so warm." I took that as a good thing and so did he and shortly after that we fell asleep, completely exhausted.  
And I don't remember exactly what order we fell asleep in but when I woke up, Richard was still asleep in my lap. I had draped his jacket back over him at some point. He was laying still and when my sleepy eyes unblurred I saw the strangest thing. On his eyelashes were snowflakes, or frozen dew. I'm still not sure. It was on his cheeks and nose and his lips were almost completely drained of color.  
"Richard. Wake up. We gotta go." I muttered sleepily and shook him. I got no response and immediately I was worried. I shook him again, harder. "Richard! Wake up!" I yelled. No response. I stopped and just stared at him and it hit me.  
"RICHIE! WAKE UP!" I screamed and I cried and in that moment I didn't think about my mother at home and what she might have endured in the night. I didn't think about what my father might say or do to me in grief, or in the years following. I looked at the smaller boy in my arms, and I thought of the ways I had failed him, the way I'd killed him, the way he looked at me with such confidence as I unknowingly led him to his death. But most of all I thought of his last words. The words that I can still hear if I try hard enough. 

 

"It-it's o-okay, Jimmy. I'm so warm."


End file.
